Has it really been almost two years since my last entry? It feels strange looking back at this foreign land, the mind of a person with whom I can no longer really identify. Am I the same person I was when I started this back in December 2010? No. Hell I am not the same person who wrote that last entry back in June 2013. It feels like I have lost a connection to this blog and that is something I have decided I need to mend in this new year. So much has happened to change me and yet so much is still the same, the lost feeling I had when I first started hasn’t gone away, neither has the battle with depression or anxiety, but in these last few years I have progressed. All we can ask of ourselves each year is, “Have I progressed?” Further more, have I moved forward even a small step, and I can say with full confidence that I have taken more than a few giant steps forward in my life? 2014 was a transformative year for me, one filled with love, hard work, friends, partying, crying, and so much more, all I hope is that 2015 will be even more progressive.
But what about this blog? It can never return to what it was originally, not that I have any notion of what the point was when I started it, really this is just a place for my brain to spill open for the world to see. If you can relate or glean something from my brain vomit, great, if you read it and think it is trivial drivel with no point or purpose, that is fine too. This is about expression without censorship, not censoring in terms of dirty words or possibly offensive opinions, but from social constrictions or personal fears. It is my goal to make this a place where I can say what I want, express something, write without fear of backlash or derision, use the brain I have been growing for the last 30 years.
What will you see in the days, weeks, posts to come? Your guess is as good as mine, all I want in this new year is to write, let the keys fly however they choose. I promised myself when I was a child that I would someday get published, that my writing would be acknowledged and enjoyed by others, hopefully some of the short stories I come up with on here will spark something and the ball can finally get rolling. So there you go, I will at least be writing short stories again, perhaps do some 30 Day Challenges, some movie reviews, and perhaps some personal reflection along the way.
With all of that in mind I will share a small thought on the new year. In the past I have attempted to come up with resolutions, those silly impossible goals that always made me feel worse about the new year than hopeful of events to come. This year I have decided to do away with “Lose weight”, “Eat better”, “Curse less” and all that shit, instead I want to adopt a philosophy of “More.” This year I don’t want to constrain my actions or experiences, instead I want to open myself up to the world and do more, read more, write more, see more, talk more, listen more, be more…you get the idea.
Let the year of More commence!