Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Honesty is the best policy.

An adage I have believed my entire life, and have tried desperately to live by.

For the most part I believe myself to be an honest person and above all things desire honesty from those around me, and don’t take lying lightly, in fact I take it as a personal insult. Crazy and unrealistic? Perhaps. However, recently I have discovered that I am in fact a hypocrite, or at least I am terrified of being honest myself or perhaps with myself.

Although I want only honesty from others I have never been able to be truly honest myself, at least when it comes to how I feel. Feelings are not easy for me to deal with, I tend to over think or overreact to things, leaving me in an endless awkward situation. So, when I am asked how I feel about something or someone I analyze what the best possible answer is, which will get me out without confrontation or more importantly abandonment, or I tone down my feelings so as not to sound weird. The times when I have been open and honest, allowed my true feelings to be heard it has never ended well, at least from my point of view. More often than not when I allow myself to be honest, when I turn my brain off long enough to speak the truth, I am met with negativity, abandonment, sideways looks, or worse, ignored. I have several friends who I feel I can be open and honest with, and I love them dearly for that, but they are so few and far between that I keep everything else repressed. And even when I can be honest with them I feel like a burden, like I am whining and taking them down. I am afraid that when I am honest I may be too open, too truthful, because I cannot level out how I am feeling, cannot tone down my thoughts and feelings. So, I have learned that perhaps not expressing my true feelings is the safer route, the one that will keep things from changing, from being taken from me, or from making others upset.

I believe now that it all boils down to fear; fear of rejection, of being abandoned, of being alone and invisible. Up until this past month I had never really thought about it, or analyzed why I always felt so depressed or angry. I think that honesty may be the key, I can never be honest about my feelings and so I hide, avoid answering or give a watered down response, I bottle it all up and don’t let others know my truth. When it comes to speaking freely, expressing my feelings about a situation or person I am lost, too afraid to be the honest person I strive to be. The other issue I face regularly is the appropriateness of honesty,  there have been times when I express the truth and it was seen as a social taboo, like I broke some kind of secret code I was never taught.

This past month I have had to deal with all of these issues at once, the confusing social taboos, being honest and being afraid. There is a guy I work with, only met recently, who I find myself amazingly attracted to, not only in body but also in mind and spirit. He is open, honest, funny, and just different from most other people I have met, he is one of the few men I have met who speak to me instead of through or around me. I feel like a teenager when I see him, think about him and about telling him how I feel. But,  ah, there’s the rub. Honesty. The only time I have been able to be honest with him was when I was heavily intoxicated and then blamed it on the alcohol the next day, thus negating any social awkwardness and avoiding any repercussions  To add to all of this he has a girlfriend, a rather young girlfriend, so social rules dictate I stop wanting to want him, but I can’t. People tell me to stop feeling the way I do like it is a switch I can just flick, a simple on and off, but I can’t and honestly don’t want to. What I want to do, I want to be honest, open and honest with him, call him, text him, tell him how I feel but I can’t, I have to keep from speaking the truth for the sake of keeping things from being awkward or uncomfortable for him and myself.

So, now I am stuck. I have come to a point in my life where I want to be honest, want my feelings to be heard and don’t want to be ignored anymore, but now I can’t. Again, I know what the social rules dictate, I know logically all of this, my brain understands but the rest of me doesn’t care.  Then there is the part of me that is convinced I am crazy for liking him because I have no clue if it is mutual, that nasty, depressed teenager trying to convince me that I am insane for possibly thinking anyone could like me, especially someone as talented, attractive and fun as him. And then there is the main part that wants to at least keep him as a friend because he really is a great guy and I want to hang out with him.

So, what do I do? What can I possibly do? Suffer in silence as I always have? Go back to bottling everything up because I am so afraid or because social rules say I must?

In this case is honesty the best policy? Or perhaps, is silence golden?

Not Angry, Just Disappointed…The 2013 Oscar Nods

Okay, maybe a little angry…

Let’s break it down piece by piece, category by category shall we.

Best Picture – What I expected, seen 5 out of the 9 so I can’t really say anything about the others but Argo is solid but not an Academy darling like Les Miserables, Lincoln and Zero Dark Thirty. Pretty sure Django and Zero won’t get any wins because of the controversy surrounding them, and Oscar really does love their histories and musicals, so no real surprises.

Actor in a Leading Role – I would have loved to see Bale get a nod for his turn as Batman, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. I think Logan Lerman deserved a nod for Perks of Being a Wallflower, but otherwise another batch of the expected. But then again is there any sliver of doubt at all who this is going to? I mean Lincoln is the kind of role the Academy has wet dreams over and they love Lewis like a first born son, and I will admit he is the standout in the group.

Actress in a Leading Role – Nice to see Chastain get some love, she had a good year, but I think Helen Mirren deserved to be nominated for Hitchcock as she pretty much carried the entire film. This one is anyone’s game but with all the buzz surrounding Jennifer Lawrence’s role I think she may have this one.

Actor in a Supporting Role – Christoph is the clear winner here for me, the only nominee necessary, much like the next category, he stole each scene he was in. I honestly do not get Alan Arkin for this, I loved Argo but I just don’t understand why Arkin was nominated other than his seniority in Hollywood. Would have really liked to see Ben Winshaw for Cloud Atlas, Ezra Miller for Perks of Being a Wallflower and dare I say…Tom Hardy for The Dark Knight Rises. Also where the hell is Leonardo Dicaprio? If anyone deserved a nomination this year, maybe not the win, he broke out of his normal box and blew away each scene. When will they acknowledge this poor boy?! Is he blacklisted or on someone’s hit list for those never to get an Oscar?

Actress in a Supporting Role – Like Waltz, there is no doubt who will win this and who should win this, Hatheway gave a once in a generation performance but…I think Kerry Washington should have gotten some love for her time in Django Unchained, and perhaps Judi Dench for Skyfall. I know it would have been a stretch but Emily Blunt did some great work in Looper, so some love there would have been appreciated.

Directing – ARGH! Let’s see. No Bigelow, no Affleck, no Tarantino!! I…no, can’t even. I know it would have been a long shot but when will they finally give Nolan the Oscar he deserved since Memento? I Just think they need to rewrite the rules for some categories, like they did with Best Picture, and allow more than 5 etc.

Writing – Original/Adapted Screenplay – As for writing I think ParaNorman could have actually had a spot in here, a fresh dark animated film, I know it would have been a stretch though. And really no Perks for Adapated Screenplay? That I just don’t get.

Music– Original Song – Although I have a clear choice here with Adele, what about any of the songs from Brave? Or could I beg Misty Mountains for The Hobbit, now that they have changed the rules for the song criteria?

Cinematography– Just happy that Les Miserables isn’t on here because I was offended by that camera work. But what about Argo and Lawless, both could have easily fit in here.

Costume Design – Meh, expected. Wish The Dark Knight Rises was on here, some great costume work there, and where the hell is The Hobbit!!, really? Also think The Hunger Games, John Carter, Prometheus and Avengers should have gotten some recognition. Oh and Cloud Atlas!

Film Editing – I am not as focused on editing, not really something I pay much attention to but I think The Dark Knight Rises, 21 Jump Street and Cloud Atlas deserved some appreciation.

Makeup And Hairstyling – Really? Where is Cloud Atlas, The Avengers, The Grey, The Hunger Games, John Carter, I could go on. Just argh.

Music – Original Score – This may be where my anger truly lies because there are so many other films that stood out this year as far as score, more original than these at least. Prometheus, Brave!!!, Lawless, The Dark Knight Rises!!!!!, The Hobbit! Seriously, this was the year of original scores and yet we get the same boring noms.

Production Design – Pretty happy with this, although I think Lawless, Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows and Prometheus all deserved some attention.

Sound Editing/Mixing – Again, editing/mixing are not really my thing but…what about Lawless, The Dark Knight Rises and Prometheus?

Visual Effects – Big bone to pick with this one as well. I appreciate all these nods, but but but where the hell is The Dark Knight Rises? I mean really? And Cloud Atlas, Looper, and yes even Total Recall and Cabin in the Woods. I no…just can’t.

Like I said, I am more disappointed than truly angry, I used to wait around for these awards shows every year but the older I get the more I realize they will never change. Sure, there will always be those films made specifically to win awards, or at least marketed that way, but someday it is my dream that a genre specific film will at least get something. I know we got it a few times with the Lord of the Rings, but honestly I think that there is so much happening right now in science fiction and just so little respect in the big awards. And I know the flack I will get because I am a bit of a hypocrite, I say I am disappointed in the awards and yet I watch them every year, but honestly it is so I can kick my brothers’ asses in our annual round of award betting.


2012 Movie Watchlist

I gave you the basic roundup now here is the full breakdown of the year.

(*First Time, ^Theater)


1. *Moon – 10/10
2. *Bridesmaids –  9.5/10
3. The Dark Knight –  9/10
4. *The King’s Speech – 9/10
5. Jurassic Park – 9/10
6. Rango –  9/10
7. Equilibrium –  8.5/10
8. Scream – 8/10
9. Scream 4 –  8/10
10. The Princess and the Frog –  8/10
11. ^Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows –  7/10
12. *The A-Team – 7/10
13. Armageddon –  7/10
14. *Star Trek: Nemesis –  4/10
15. Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon – . 3/10
16. *Gamer – 2/10
17. ^Underworld: Awakening – 2/10


1. Tangled – 9/10
2. *Grindhouse: Planet Terrors – 8.5/10
3. *Red Eye – 8/10
4. Scream – 8/10
5. Hot Fuzz – 7.5/10
6. *The Big Lebowski – 7/10
7. Blow Dry – 7/10
8. Die Hard 3 – 7/10
9. Treasure Planet – 6/10
10. Airheads – 5/10
11. *Die Hard 2 – 5/10


1. Inception – 9.5/10
2. *Warrior – 9.5/10 – By far my favorite film I watched all month, if not the year so far
3. *Hugo – 9/10
4. Hellboy – 8/10
5. *Horrible Bosses – 8/10
6. Hook – 8.5/10
7. *[Theater] The Hunger Games – 8.5/10
8. *Tucker and Dale vs. Evil – 8.5/10
9. *The Adventures of Tintin – 7.5/10
10. The Mummy – 7.5/10
11. *[Theater] John Carter (of Mars) – 7/10
12. Scream 3 – 7/10
13. *[Theater] This Means War – 6/10
14. Inkheart – 5/10


1. Iron Man – 9/10
2. *Winnie the Pooh (2011) – 9/10
3. *Airforce One – 8/10
4. Rush Hour – 7.5/10
5. *The Tale of Desperaux – 7.5/10
6. *Twister – 7.5/10
7. *Fargo – 7/10
8. The Negotiator – 7/10
9. Paycheck – 7/10
10. Practical Magic – 7/10
11. The Craft – 6.5/10
12. *Hitch – 6/10
13. *Piglet’s Big Movie – 4/10
14. *Gnomeo & Juliet – 4.5/10
15. *Smurfs – 3/10
16. **Titanic 3D – I still don’t know how I feel, the more I see it the more flaws and brilliant moments I see


1. The Prestige (9.5)
2. Reservoir Dogs (9.5)
3. ^ The Avengers (9)
4. Ocean’s 11 (9)
5. Tangled (9)
6. Captain America (8.5)
7. ^* Grindhouse: Death Proof (8.5)
8. ^Grindhouse: Planet Terror (8.5)
9. Iron Man 2 (8.5)
10. * The Social Network (8.5)
11. The Rock (8.5)
12. * The American President (8)
13. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (8)
14. The Incredible Hulk (8)
15. Thor (8)
16. Under Seige (8)
17. * Conspiracy Theory (7.5)
18. Ferngully (7.5)
19. Spy Kids (7.5)
20. Broken Arrow (7)
21. True Lies (7)
22. * Astro Boy (6.5)
23. * Bad Boys (6.5)
24. * Jeepers Creepers (6)
25. * The Net (5)
26. * Cars 2 (4)
27. * Repo: A Genetic Opera (3.5)
28. * Dragon Hunters (3)


1. Alien 4 (2)
2. *Sphere (3)
3. *Mimic (4)
4. Alien 3 (5)
5. Jurassic Park 2 (5)
6. Shrek 3 (5)
7. ^Magic Mike (6) – only for the abundance of abs:) Otherwise a big fat 5
8. Men in Black 2 (6)
9. ^ Prometheus (6)
10. Shrek 4 (6)
11. Starship Troopers (6)
12. *Clear and Present Danger (7)
13. The Italian Job (2003) (7)
14. Jurassic Park 3 (7)
15. *Patriot Games (7)
16. S.W.A.T. (7)
17. ^Snow White and the Huntsman (7)
18. Sum of All Fears (7)
19. The Fifth Element (8)
20. Men in Black (8)
21. Shrek 2 (8)
22. Aliens (8.5)
23. Galaxy Quest (8.5)
24. Back to the Future (9)
25. Jurassic Park (9)
26. Shrek (9)
27. Young Frankenstein (9)
28. The Princess Bride (9.5)
29. Shakespeare in Love (9.5)
30. Alien (10)


1. *The Code (Thick as Theives) – 3/10
2. *The Phantom – 3/10
3. Batman and Robin – 3.5/10
4. *Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs – 4/10
5. Cliffhanger – 5/10
6. *Lethal Dose – 5/10
7. *The Siege – 5/10
8. Batman (1966) – 6/10
9. Batman Forever – 6/10
10. *Best in Show – 6/10
11. *Breakfast at Tiffany’s – 6/10
12. *Team America: World Police – 6/10
13. *A League of Their Own – 7/10
14. Batman Returns – 7/10
15. *Bronson – 7/10
16. Batman (1989) – 7.5/10
17. *Crimson Tide – 7.5/10
18. Hudson Hawk – 7.5/10
19. Miss Congeniality – 7.5/10
20. Penelope – 7.5/10
21. The Three Musketeers (1993) – 7.5/10
22. Watchmen – 7.5/10
23. *Wuthering Heights – 7.5/10
24. Independence Day – 8/10
25. Jumanji – 8/10
26. Speed – 8/10
27. ^*Brave – 8.5/10
28. *Layer Cake – 8.5/10
29. Ocean’s 11 – 8.5/10
30. *Pirate Radio – 8.5/10
31. *The Take – 8.5/10
32. ^Batman Begins (x2) – 9/10
33. Inception – 9.5/10
34. ^The Dark Knight (x2) – 9.5/10
35. ^*The Dark Knight Rises (x2) 9.5/10
36. Yankee Doodle Dandy – 10/10


1. *Minotaur – 3/10
2. *True Bloodthirst – 3/10
3. *Me And Orson Wells – 5/10
4. Shanghai Knights – 6/10
5. *Road To Perdition – 7/10
6. Monster Squad – 7.5/10
7. The Mummy – 7.5/10
8. Newsies – 7.5/10
9. The Rock – 7.5/10
10. Stardust – 7.5/10
11. *Being Elmo – 8/10
12. Captain America – 8/10
13. Mr. And Mrs. Smith – 8/10
14. *Oliver Twist (2007 Miniseries) – 8/10
15. *Philadelphia – 8/10
16. Rocknrolla (x2) – 8/10
17. Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows – 8/10
18. *Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – 8/10
19. *Death At A Funeral – 8.5/10
20. Ever After – 8.5/10
21. *The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – 8.5/10
22. Sherlock Holmes – 9/10
23. *Frost Nixon (x2) – 9.5/10
24. Warrior – 9.5/10
25. *Drive – 10/10


1. ^Lawless – 9/10
2. Horrible Bosses – 8/10
3. *Devil – 7.5/10
4. *The Adjustment Bureau – 7.5/10
5. *The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou – 7.5/10
6. *Super 8 – 7.5/10
7. *Beverly Hills Copy – 7/10
8. Under Seige – 7/10
9. Angels in the Outfield – 6/10
10. Despicable Me – 6/10
11. A Kid in King Arthur’s Court – 5/10


1. *The Vampire Circus – 1/10
2. *Children of the Corn – 2/10
3. *The Ghoul – 2/10
4. *Invasion of the Body Snatchers – 5/10
5. *The Vampire’s Ghost – 5/10
6. Demon Knight – 5.5/10
7. Horror of Dracula – 6/10
8. My Bloody Valentine (2009) – 6/10
9. Slither – 6/10
10. *The Mummy (1932) – 6/10
11. *The Omen – 6/10
12. Tremors – 6/10
13. *Attack the Block – 6.5/10
14. Buffy the Vampire Slayer – 6.5/10
15. Total Recall – 6.5/10
16. Cinderella (1950) – 7/10
17. House on Haunted Hill – 7/10
18. Land of the Dead – 7/10
19. Scream 2 – 7/10
20. *The Game – 7/10
21. The Shining – 7/10
22. Fright Night (2011) – 7.5/10
23. Hocus Pocus – 7.5/10
24. *The Innocents – 7.5/10
25. 30 Days of Night – 8/10
26. Chicken Run – 8/10
27. Nosferatu – 8/10
28. Psycho – 8/10
29. Scream – 8/10
30. Fright Night (1985) – 8/10
31. The Birdcage – 8/10
32. The Others – 8/10
33. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil – 8/10
34. Galaxy Quest – 8.5/10
35. Sherlock Holmes – 8.5/10
36. The Lost Boys – 8.5/10
37. The Avengers – 9/10
38. *Pan’s Labyrinth – 9/10
39. Shaun of the Dead – 9/10


1. *Yogi Bear – 2/10
2. *Moonraker – 4/10
3. *Con Air – 5/10
4. *Kung Fu Panda 2 – 5/10
5. *Live and Let Die – 5/10
6. Our Man Flint – 5/10
7. The World is Not Enough – 5/10
8. *You Only Live Twice – 5/10
9. *Diamonds are Forever – 6/10
10. Dr. No – 6/10
11. *Source Code – 6/10
12. *The Spy Who Loved Me – 6/10
13. *Thunderball – 6/10
14. Tomorrow Never Dies – 6/10
15. *Megamind – 6.5/10
16. *Rock of Ages – 6.5/10
17. Goldfinger – 7/10
18. *Mirror Mirror – 7/10
19. *Paul – 7/10
20. *Safe House – 7/10
21. The Producers – 7/10
22. *License to Kill – 7.5/10
23. *The Living Daylights – 7.5/10
24. Independence Day (+ Commentary) – 8/10
25. *Rear Window – 8/10
26. The Rock – 8/10
27. Trading Places – 8/10
28. *21 Jump Street (x2) – 8.5/10
29. Goldeneye – 8.5/10
30. Casino Royale – 9/10
31. Love, Actually – 9/10
32. ^Skyfall – 9/10
33. Star Trek – 9/10
34. Tangled – 9/10
35. The Avengers – 9/10


1. *Battleship – 3/10
2. *Dark Shadows – 3/10
3. *Haywire – 3/10
4. *The Raven – 4/10
5. *Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter – 5/10
6. *Premium Rush – 5/10
7. Despicable Me – 6/10
8. Gremlins – 6/10
9. *Ted – 6/10
10. *The Bourne Legacy – 6/10
11. *The Campiagn – 6/10
12. *The Girl (TV Movie) – 6/10
13. *The Grey – 6/10
14. *Men in Black 3 – 6.5/10
15. *Pitch Perfect – 6.5/10
16. *The Deer Hunter – 7/10
17. The Santa Clause – 7/10
18. *The Woman in Black – 7.5/10
19. *Total Recall – 7.5/10
20. *Wreck it Ralph – 7.5/10
21. *Argo – 8/10
22. *Cabin in the Woods – 8/10
23. Elf – 8/10
24. Finding Nemo – 8/10
25. *Lincoln – 8/10
26. *ParaNorman – 8/10
27. *The Amazing Spiderman – 8/10
28. *Cloud Atlas – 8.5/10
29. *Flight – 8.5/10
30. *Looper – 8.5/10
31. ^Django Unchained – 9/10
32. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Losk Ark – 9/10
33. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – 9/10
34. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – 9/10
35. ^The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – 9/10
36. Die Hard – 9.5/10
37. Perks of Being a Wallflower – 9.5/10
1. ^Lawless – 9/10
2. Horrible Bosses – 8/10
3. *Devil – 7.5/10
4. *The Adjustment Bureau – 7.5/10
5. *The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou – 7.5/10
6. *Super 8 – 7.5/10
7. *Beverly Hills Copy – 7/10
8. Under Seige – 7/10
9. Angels in the Outfield – 6/10
10. Despicable Me – 6/10
11. A Kid in King Arthur’s Court – 5/10

2012 Roundup and Looking Forward to 2013

My Accomplishments and Failures of 2012

  • Officially employed for an entire year at one job! Although as a temp and we are all getting laid off this month
  • Joined a theater, became their development assistant, helped in their shows, met some great new friends/colleagues along the way. Unfortunately crushed hard on one who couldn’t care less about me.
  • C2E2 Year 2!! Met: Sean Astin, John Barrowman, Anne Rice; Saw/Listened to: Rachel Caine, Jeannine Frost, Charlaine Harris and Chloe Neil
  • Watched 306 movies, Read 25 books
  • Was actually social, went out, drank far more than I ever have before
  • Started therapy, unfortunately may quit it soon
  • Joined Funk’s House of Geekery! You can read all my awesome articles here:
  • Asked a guy out for the first time ever, unfortunately got rejected.
  • Assistant stage managed my first play and started moving towards doing more!
  • Failures: didn’t lose weight/get in shape at all, didn’t go out on a single date, didn’t get a real job with benefits, didn’t get much novel writing done.
  • Oh and survived the end of the world! Can’t forget how big that is right?

My Entertainment Roundup- Movies Watched, Books Read

For the first time in my life I decided to track all the movies I watched, I am a dork I know, but I love me some lists:) Also, I spend most of my working life living in Excel, so I get bored.

The Numbers:
Total: 306
First Time: 146
Theater: 21
Released in 2012: 45
Average Rating: 7.1
Average Rating for 2012: 6.8

First Time Watches in 2012

The Vampire Circus – 1
Children of the Corn – 2
Gamer – 2
The Ghoul – 2
Yogi Bear – 2
A View to a Kill – 3
Battleship -3
Dark Shadows – 3
Dragon Hunters – 3
Haywire – 3
Minotaur (TV Movie) – 3
Smurfs – 3
Sphere – 3
The Code (Thick as Thieves) – 3
The Phantom – 3
True Bloodthirst (Sci Fi Original) – 3
Gnomeo & Juliet – 3.5
Repo: A Genetic Opera – 3.5
Cars 2 – 4
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs – 4
Mimic – 4
Moonraker – 4
Piglet’s Big Movie – 4
The Raven – 4
Star Trek: Nemesis – 4

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter – 5
Die Hard 2 – 5
Invasion of the Body Snatchers – 5
Kung Fu Panda 2 – 5
Lethal Dose – 5
Live and Let Die – 5
Me and Orson Wells – 5
Premium Rush – 5
The Net – 5
The Siege – 5
The Vampire’s Ghost – 5
You Only Live Twice – 5
Best in Show – 6
The Bourne Legacy – 6
Breakfast at Tiffany’s – 6
The Campaign – 6
Diamonds are Forever – 6
The Girl (TV Movie) – 6
The Grey – 6
Hitch – 6
Jeepers Creepers – 6
The Mummy (1932) – 6
The Omen – 6
Source Code – 6
The Spy Who Loved Me – 6
Team America: World Police – 6
Ted – 6
Thunderball – 6
Astro Boy – 6.5
Attack the Block – 6.5
Bad Boys – 6.5
Megamind – 6.5
Men in Black 3 – 6.5
Pitch Perfect – 6.5
Rock of Ages – 6.5

A League of Their Own – 7
The A-Team – 7
Beverly Hills Cop – 7
The Big Lebowski – 7
Bronson – 7
Clear and Present Danger – 7
The Deer Hunter – 7
Fargo – 7
The Game – 7
House on Haunted Hill – 7
Mirror Mirror – 7
Patriot Games – 7
Paul – 7
Road to Perdition – 7
Safe House – 7
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – 7
The Adjustment Bureau – 7.5
The Adventures of Tintin – 7.5
Conspiracy Theory – 7.5
Crimson Tide – 7.5
Devil – 7.5
The Innocents – 7.5
License to Kill – 7.5
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou – 7.5
The Living Daylights – 7.5
Super 8 – 7.5
The Tale of Desperaux – 7.5
The Woman in Black – 7.5
Total Recall – 7.5
Twister – 7.5
Wreck it Ralph – 7.5
Wuthering Heights (TV Movie) – 7.5

Airforce One – 8
The Amazing Spiderman – 8
The American President – 8
Argo – 8
Being Elmo – 8
Cabin in the Woods – 8
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – 8
Horrible Bosses – 8 (x2)
Lincoln – 8
Oliver Twist (TV Movie) – 8
ParaNorman – 8
Philadephia – 8
Rear Window – 8
Red Eye – 8
21 Jump Street – 8.5 (x2)
Cloud Atlas – 8.5
Death At A Funeral – 8.5
Flight – 8.5/10
Grindhouse: Death Proof
Grindhouse: Planet Terror – 8.5 (x2)
Layer Cake – 8.5
Looper – 8.5
Pirate Radio – 8.5
The Social Network – 8.5
The Take (Miniseries) – 8.5
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil – 8.5

Bridesmaids – 9.5
Django Unchained – 9
Frost/Nixon – 9.5 (x2)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – 9
Hugo – 9
The King’s Speech – 9
Pan’s Labyrinth – 9
Warrior – 9.5 (x2)
Winnie the Pooh – 9
Perks of Being a Wallflower – 9.5

Moon – 10
Drive – 10

But I also read books! Who knew right?!
“Demon in My View” (Den of Shadows Quartet 2) – Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
“Shattered Mirror” (Den of Shadows Quartet 3) – Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
“Midnight Predator” (Den of Shadows Quartet 4) Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
“Girl’s Guide to Witchcraft” (Red Dress Ink/Jane Madison 1) – Mindy Klasky
“Sorcery and the Single Girl” (Red Dress Ink/Jane Madison 2) – Mindy Klasky
“Hexbound “ (Dark Elite 2) – Chloe Neil
“Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs” (Jane Jameson 1) – Molly Harper
“Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men” (Jane Jameson 2) – Molly Harper
“Nice Girls Don’t Live Forever” (Jane Jameson 3) – Molly Harper
“Nice Girls Don’t Bite Their Neighbors” (Jane Jameson 4) – Molly Harper
“Driving Mr. Dead” – Molly Harper
“Halfway to the Grave” (Night Huntress 1) – Jeaniene Frost
“One Foot in the Grave” (Night Huntress 2) – Jeaniene Frost
“At Grave’s End” (Night Huntress 3) – Jeaniene Frost
“Destined for the Grave” (Night Huntress 4) – Jeaniene Frost
“This Side of the Grave” (Night Huntress 5) – Jeaniene Frost
“First Drop of Chrimson” (Night Huntress World 1) – Jeaniene Frost
“Eternal Kiss of Darkness” (Night Huntress World 2) – Jeaniene Frost
“Home for the Holidays” (Night Huntress Novella) – Jeaniene Frost
“Reckoning” (Night Huntress Novella) – Jeaniene Frost
“One for the Money” (Night Huntress Novella) – Jeaniene Frost
“Mockingjay” (The Hunger Games Trilogy3) – Suzanne Collins
“Fifty Shades of Grey” (Fifty Shades Trilogy 1) – E. L. James
“Fifty Shades Darker” (Fifty Shades Trilogy 2) – E. L. James

I actually got to go out to the theaters as well this year, both movies and plays!

Films in the theater

  • Underworld: Awakening – 2/10
  • This Means War – 6/10
  • Magic Mike – 6/10
  • Prometheus – 6/10
  • Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows – 7/10
  • John Carter (of Mars) – 7/10
  • Snow White and the Huntsman – 7/10
  • The Hunger Games – 8.5/10
  • Titanic 3D – 8.5/10
  • Grindhouse: Death Proof/Planet Terror – 8.5/10
  • Brave – 8.5/10
  • The Avengers – 9/10
  • Batman Begins – 9/10
  • The Dark Knight Rises – 9/10 (x2)
  • Lawless – 9/10
  • Skyfall – 9/10
  • Django Unchained – 9/10
  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – 9/10
  • The Dark Knight – 9.5/10

Live Plays

  • Failure a Love Story – Victory Gardens Production
  • Idomeneus (x6) – Sideshow Theatre Production
  • The Gacy Play – Sideshow Theatre Production
  • Beauty and the Beast – Chicago Shakespeare Theater Production
  • Honey Buns – Collaboraction Production
  • QED – Collaboraction/Theater for Humanity Production

Come on 2013 – Goals for this Year

I hate resolutions but I need something to keep me looking forward.

Movies/TV etc.

  • Catch up on: True Blood, Game of Thrones, Supernatural, Psych, Once Upon a Time
  • Finally watch: Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, 24
  • Rewatch entire series: Buffy, Angel, BSG
  • Write more reviews
  • Write more articles for Funk’s House of Geekery
  • Watch films I have tended to avoid that are considered classics
  • Start working through movie lists like IMDB’s Top 250, 1000 Movies to See Before You Die etc.
  • Watch more special features, hell I dish out a shit ton of money for special editions and rarely take the time to listen to commentaries or watch making ofs
  • Educate my brothers on films, actors and directors they need to know about before they get much older
  • Finally figure out my top 100 Movies, Songs, TV Shows
  • See more movies in the theater, I cheated a bit this year, just so damned expensive.

Life in General

  • Write more, articles, stories, plays – quality stuff not just random emo crap.
  • Read more books of substance.
  • Get a fraking job with benefits.
  • See more plays and stage manage more shows, or at least learn about it, learn from my Sideshow people and become more confident in the theater world
  • Get in shape, because it is getting ridiculous.
  • Figure out if therapy is what I need or something else, but get my brain and shit together.
  • Less whining, less bitching, less nagging.
  • Live by these 3 P’s: Proactive, Productive, Positive
  • Get shit done earlier, don’t put it off, just do it so you don’t feel guilty about it later.

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

Battleship: Movie Brain Vomit


This is what happens when I have nothing to do at work, have to stay in front of the computer and then put on a dreadful movie.




– Dammit I love Taylor Kitsch, he always plays the fuck up, love it, so basically this is what happened to Tim Riggins after school etc i guess
– No, no, Eric doesn’t have his accent and he is being no fun! Stick in the mud!
– Sorry but those first ten minutes were kind of hilarious!
– No why is he playing Soccer? He is an American Football player!
– No please give him his hair back, so pretty with long hair. Carter and Riggins were hot because of the hair, give it back!
– HAHA Ball go flying! hahahah you suck
– Yet another reason to hate blonde skinny bitches
– Why is an Irishman heading the greatest American ship in history
– Were those real vets? And this is how we honor them? Really?
– They must be adopted brothers, because they don’t look a damn thing alike!
– Haha he’s so short hahaha
– Okay, so the first few minutes are kind of hilarious, reminds me of the beginning of Under Siege, ooh can this be a remake or sequel of that? That would be awesome!
– Pussy. Hot, but a damn pussy.
– Okay, so basically a Russian team of bad guys is going to take over one of the boats and hold it for ransom while actually using it for some terrorist action right? Because that could actually work a bit. Or maybe like BSG when the Battlestar was being decommissioned and then the cylons attack right?
– Sorry no way in hell he would be allowed to rise to be a commander.
– So we are no longer disrespecting vets but also wounded vets? How low can you sink….wait wait You sunk my battleship,. that is what they meant by calling it that right?
– And I can mark the point where it became pure shit…Exactly 30 minutes.
– no wait he can’t be in charge? he is from numbers and kind of crazy
– yeah stand on it, that’s real smart, not like radiation, dangerous chemicals, weapons or anything like that could suddenly kill you or anything
– haha tased twice in one movie! haha
– really you want to antagonize the obviously alien space ship /that is your first plan? haven’t you ever EVER watched Star Trek? Dammit!
– sorry I would not trust her with a giant gun
– I can do it, I can do it, don’t close view screen
– TRANSFORMERS, seriously, have you not seen Transformers? or you know any fucking sci fi movie? Don’t SHOOT AT IT!
– you know what I miss? practical effects? that is all i will say about those dumbass special effects.
– AGAIN have you EVER seen ALIEN?! DON’T TOUCH THE FUCKING ALIEN!- really a psychic connection? really?
– oh don’t watch the door open just fucking leave!
– stop with the damn slo mo!
– HAHA Mahalo mother fucker, haha
– great medical professional you are, just stare at the dead people instead of checking to see if there are any survivors
– don’t hurt the horses
– where did he get a gun?
– Oh shit is he a cyborg ! haah
– obama hahahahaha
– one little alien and everybody riots
– Yeah that wasn’t a racist joke about the Art of War at all
– stop repeating everything the smart japanese man is saying
– stop throwing around fancy words
– bored now
– come on someone say miss, and hit, because now I finally see how this is based on the boardgame
– haha summer camp
– her one liners are just annoying and unnecessary
– omg still 40 minutes left noooo
– Transformers Water Edition
– floaty jackets will not save you against aliens!
– 33 min
– where the hell did liam neeson go?
– what happened to the barrier thingy?
– Seriously! You are going to use to old vets? really? that doesn’t feel a little shitty to anyone else? Great way to forcibly pull on our heartstrings
– I was half expecting the A-team theme to start up
– so no one is worried one of these guys is going to fall over? or you know be an old guy because they ARE
– but i do like ironic mustache old guy
– called battleship and they don’t bring it out until 40 min left? really?
– also no one thought that it would be a little i don’t know not politically correct to have an american naval vessel fire on Hawaii? ? ?
– yeah sure try to make this intelligent by referencing art of war, that will help
– we’re all gonna die, yeah keep repeating it, again such intelligent dialogue
– old men cursing makes me giggle
– Hey qui gon jinn is back!
– who knew megan fox became a blonde or at least had a blonde sister
– hahahahah 1000 pounds 500 feet by a few guys, yeah believable
– flying teeth? really?
– YEAH ! And aslan saves the day!
– HAHAHA NO! Damn I love you Liam Neeson!
—-HAHA I LOVE how they had to say based on the game in the credits hahahahaha

Ode to 12 Angry Men

With the passing of Jack Klugman, unfortunately that means that every one of the jurors from my favorite movie of all time 12 Angry Men are no longer with us. In light of this sad news I wanted to pay tribute to these 12 amazing actors who have brought joy to my life for over 2 decades.


Release Date: April 1957
Budget: $350,000
Runtime: 96 min

Juror #1: Martin Balsam
Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

Born November 14, 1919
Passed: February 13, 1996 (age 76)
Nickname: The Bronx Barrymore
First film: 1954 – On the Waterfront
Final film: 1997 – Legend of the Spirit Dog
Where you may have seen him: Psycho, Catch 22

Juror #2: John Fiedler

Born: February 3, 1925
Passed: June 25, 2005 (80)
First Film: 12 Angry Men (1957)
Final Film: The Emperor’s New Groove 2: Kronk’s New Groove (voice: Rudy)

Juror #3: Lee J. Cobb

Born: December 8, 1911
Passed: February 11, 1976 (64)
First Film: The Vanishing Shadow (1934)
Final Film: Nick the Sting (1976)
Where you may have seen him: The Exorcist, Our Man Flint

Juror #4: E.G. Marshall

Born: June 18, 1914
Passed: August 24, 1998 (84)
First Film: The House on 92nd Street (1945)
Final Film: The Defenders: Choice of Evils (TV movie) (1998)
Where you may have seen him: Christmas Vacation, Superman II

Juror #5: Jack Klugman

Born: April 27, 1922
Passed: December 24, 2012 (90)
First Film: Grubstake (1952)
Final Film: Camera Obscura (2010)
Where you may have seen him: The Odd Couple, Quincy ME

Juror #6: Edward Binns

Born: September 12, 1916 (my birthday as well)
Passed: December 4, 1990 (74)
First Film: Halls of Montezuma (1950)
Final Film: After School (1988)
Where you may have seen him: North by Northwest, Patton

Juror #7: Jack Warden (John H. Lebzelter)

Born: September 18, 1920
Passed: July 19, 2006 (85)
First Film: The Asphalt Jungle (1950)
Final Film: The Replacements (2000)
Where you may have seen him: All the President’s Men

Juror #8: Henry Fonda

Born: May 16, 1905
Passed: August 12, 1982 (77)
First Film: The Farmer Takes a Wife (1935)
Final Film: Summer Solstice (TV movie) (1981)
Where you may have seen him: On Golden Pond, Fail Safe, The Grapes of Wrath, Once Upon a Time in the West

Juror #9: Joseph Sweeney

Born: July 26, 1882
Passed: November 25, 1963 (81)
First Film: Sylvia on a Spree (1918)
Final Film: 12 Angry Men (1957) – Did all TV after this
Where you may have seen him:The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit

Juror #10: Ed Begley

Born: March 25, 1901
Passed: April 28, 1970 (69)
First Film: Boomerang! (1947)
Final Film: Road to Salina (1970)
Where you may have seen him: Hang ‘Em High, The Unsinkable Molly Brown

Juror #11: George Voskovec

Born: June 19, 1905
Passed: July 1, 1981 (76)
First Film: Pohádka máje (1926)
Final Film: Barbarosa (1982)
Where you may have seen him: Somewhere in Time

Juror #12: Robert Webber

Born: October 14, 1924
Passed: May 19, 1989 (64)
First Film: Highway 301 (1950)
Final Film: Something Is Out There (TV Movie) (1988)
Where you may have seen him: Private Benjamin, The Dirty Dozen, 10

Countdown to The Hobbit, Days 6-1!!

The Hobbit Countdown Day 6: Ode to Sir Ian McKellan

Well people we are in the home stretch! The Hobbit is released this week!!!!!
So this means we are down to the big names and topics, and none are bigger, at least height wise, than the greatest wizard of them all, the man who incited all these trying quests.
Ian McKellan has played kings, mutants and generals; he has graced the stage and even has his own meme. But what is truly great about this man is how proud he is, how supporting he is of the gay community, not fearing coming out and being an amazing icon.
No one could ever play Gandalf or Magneto with the same power and yet grace. Sure sometimes he may look like our crazy great uncle who lives under the train tracks, but he looks so damn good and elegant that we are okay with it.








Ready for something disturbing? He was damn sexy! Kinda looks like Cumberbatch to me.






The Hobbit Countdown Day 5: Ode to Martin Freeman

Arthur Dent, Dr. Watson, Tim Canterbury, and now Biblo Baggins. Martin Freeman may not necessarily be a household name yet but his face has forever become attached to giant iconic characters. He was maybe my favorite part of the Love Actually as well, he can blend comedy and drama in a nice balance. I truly hope that with Watson and Bilbo, Martin gets the widespread recognition which he very much deserves.
Oh and I want more Sherlock NOW!









In the middle of the earth in the land of the Shire
lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire.
With his long wooden pipe,
fuzzy, woolly toes,
he lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him

Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
He’s only three feet tall
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of them all

Now hobbits are a peace-lovin’ folks you know
They don’t like to hurry and they take things slow
They don’t like to travel away from home
They just want to eat and be left alone
But one day Bilbo was asked to go
on a big adventure to the caves below,
to help some dwarves get back their gold
that was stolen by a dragon in the days of old.

Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
He’s only three feet tall
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of them all

Well he fought with the goblins!
He battled a troll!
He riddled with Gollum!
A magic ring he stole!!
He was chased by wolves!
Lost in the forest!
Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king’s halls!

Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of them all

Now he’s back in his hole in the land of the Shire,
that brave little hobbit whom we all admire,
just a-sittin’ on a treasure of silver and gold
a-puffin’ on his pipe in his hobbit-hole.

Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
He’s only three feet tall
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of them all


The Hobbit Countdown Day 4: Peter Jackson

Yesterday we discussed one kind of wizard, but today we tackle a magical being of a different sort. He may appear to be half hobbit, he may sometimes sound like a dwarf, but there is no mistake that Peter Jackson is indeed a master wizard. No one, NO ONE, even dared tackle the Tolkein universe in live action film, all too afraid of its magnititude and let’s be honest the scary rabid fans. But this man, this short furry man brought to life one of the most amazing triligies of all time and now he wants to do it again!
He started out making some of the strangest pieces of film ever to be produced from Meet the Feebles to Dead Alive and Bad Taste. At some point though he must have found a magic ring of his own because he moved on from the low budget gore to high tech ghosts with The Frighteners to The Lord of the Rings and the biggest baddest movie monster of them all King Kong.
Not only is this man a visionary but he is also just a bowl of fun, proving that you can get shit done without being an arrogant asshole about it…a trait several directors in Hollywood should study. The kiwi knows his shit and enjoys all the steps along the way. Plus he is like the incredible shrinking man!

The Hobbit Countdown Day 3: Ode to The Book

You cannot have a Tolkien film without the magnificent source material.

The Hobbit, or There and Back Again


Published Sept. 21, 1937
Nominated for the Carnegie Medal, received the New York Herald Tribune prize.
Old Norse mythological influences, Runic alphabet for the dwarf language.
Written as a children’s story and as a fairy tale, which is interesting because I would never have thought of it as a children’s book. To me it is very much like the Grimm original tales, when fairy tales were dark and not exactly meant for younger audiences unless you wanted to give them nightmares. Also, this book was far easier for me to read because it was written as a series, straightforward and less heavily dependent on poetic descriptions like his later works. I also love the songs and poems in this book, they tell the story in a new and different way, I cannot wait to hear them put to music in the movies.


The first edition of the story the ring is not an evil force, this was added in the second edition when sequels were being demanded of Tolkien. After working on The Lord of the Rings he went back and changed Gollum and Bilbo’s interaction in the cave, “Riddles in the Dark”. In the original scene Gollum gives up the ring and is not as angry when he is tricked out of it, but Gollum is far more violent and full of hate in subsequent editions. He also attempted revising the rest of the book but gave up when it started to lose the whimsy and child friendly pacing.


One of the stories to be dissected by the amazing Joseph Campbell, for his hero’s journey and coming of age mythic archetypes. The Lord of the Rings is almost more of a rehash to me, Frodo is Bilbo but he is facing far darker evils and torments than his relative before.
Some Adaptations


– Stage in 1953 by St. Margaret’s School in Edinburgh.
– Film in 1966, a twelve minute animated short.
– Musical in 1967 at New College School in Oxford.
– Leonard Nimoy’s “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” in 1968
– Radio in 1968 by BBC Radio 4.
– Television in 1977 by Rankin/Bass and was nominted for a Hugo award.
– Soviet teleplay in 1985
– Comic book in 1989 by Chuck Dixon, Sean Deming and David Wenzel.
– Finnish miniseries in 1993


The Hobbit Countdown Day 2: Ode to The Fans

They come in all shapes and sizes, ages and races, nationalities and from the sane to the crazy.


They are called everything from a Tolkienist (student of Tolkien and the Elvish languages) and Ringer (general Lord of the Rings fan) to Tolkienite and Tolkiendil.

They have been around since the 1950’s, after the publication of The Fellowship of the Ring. Creating fanzines, holding cons and symposiums with in depth discussions and research presentations. Some groups have even gone so far as to pose questions about it his stories being real historical events and facts. The first real fan group was founded in 1960 at Worldcon by Ted Johnstone. In 1965 came the Tolkien Society of America founded by Columbia University’s Richard Plotz. The Tolkien Society was founded across the pond in 1969 and still exists! I want to go to there!






With the anti-war themes of his books, Tolkien found a great source of fandom in the ‘60s peace loving groups. Some even used the books as an interpretation of current events, specifically the Vietnam war. And then came the games, the knock-offs, the certain groups who bowed to dungeon masters and the like.

They are on the intarwebs, they are living in their own Hobbit holes, they are awesome and sometimes scary, and sometimes even fantastically cool pundits!

Hell, if it wasn’t for the fans do you really think these films would have ever been made. For sure Bilbo would not have been played by the unknown Freeman.


They even have their own movie!


All I have to say is why didn’t I go to a school with Tolkien studies! I demand a refund and a new education!


And I want to live here…

The Hobbit Countdown Day 1: Ode to J.R.R. Tolkien


Finally the day has arrived! I don’t care what people are saying about The Hobbit, it can be ridiculous and boring to some but I will enjoy it because it comes from the minds of Peter Jackson and one of the greatest authors of all time.

Was it ever a question who the final day would be dedicated to?


John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was born January 3, 1973 and passed September 2, 1973.

A professor, writer, poet, war veteran and an OBE.

Something I find funny, his last name is from the German word for “foolhardy” which reminds me so much of Pippin, often dubbed the fool of the fellowship.

He did not volunteer for the army right away in 1914 but waited until he finished getting his degree in 1915. After a year of training he arrived in France as a signals officer where he served for a little over 4 months until he came down with trench fever. It was this brief but life changing and horrific time during the war that most influenced his later works. The Dead Marshes in particular was a nightmare of his, of comrades fallen around him and their faces haunting him.


Worked for the Oxford English Dictionary, working on the history of Germanic words, and later became a professor at his alma mater Oxford, with a fellowship at Pembroke. Later he taught at Merton College where he worked until his retirement in 1959.


On his and his wife’s tombstone he added the names Luthien and Beren to their names, both were characters in The Silmarillion.


Perhaps the one thing, other than his abilities as an author, that really amazes me is how he was able to not only create languages but create distinct alphabets as well. He also drew all of the original maps for his works, I am seriously in awe of this man.



Major Works:



Beowulf: The Monsters and the Critics
The Hobbit
The Lord of the Rings
The Silmarillion
Unfinished Tales of Númenor and Middle-earth
The Children of Húrin
The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrún
Mr. Bliss

Now let’s go see this thing!